I attended the funeral service of a pastor's wife today. I wanted to show my support for my fellow pastor and his family. His wife had suffered for many years, but that does not lessen the grief. I cannot imagine his pain. It reminded me that often a pastor's wife is an unsung hero. We, pastors, could not do all the things we do for our church families and communities without the support of our loving wives. That is certainly the case with my wife. She has always been a faithful partner with me in marriage and ministry.
Here are three things you can do for your pastor's wife.
1. Pray for her.
No one will know all that she has to do to support her husband's ministry. Besides being a wife and mother, she has to share her husband with hundreds or thousands of other people. You will never know all the meals that went cold while she waited on her husband to get home from an emergency or last minute counseling need. You will never know all of the vacations that never happened because they could not afford it, or because the vacation was cut short by a church need. You'll never know how hard it is for her to remain godly in her conversation and attitude after hearing her husband unfairly criticized by church members.
2. Let her be her own person.
Don't expect her to be like the last pastor's wife you knew. She is uniquely gifted by God. She has her own set of talents, skills, personality traits, experiences, and spiritual gifts. She is to be the woman God wants her to be, not the one you want her to be.
3. Don't assume you get two for the price of one.
Her husband is employed by the church; She is not. Do not expect her to be at every church function. Do not expect her to attend every worship service when there are multiple services on a Sunday morning. Don't expect her to be with the pastor as he makes all of his hospital and ministry visits. Her support for her husband at home is what makes it possible for him to be the pastor he needs to be.
I am so grateful to be in a church that honors and loves my wife. They do all three of these, and so much more.
Can you think of some other things you can do to support your pastors wife? Leave some comments below. I would love to hear what you think.
