I Have A Complaint!

“Do all things without complaining (murmuring) and disputing” (Philippians 2:14).

Murmuring, complaining, and fighting are kill-joys in a believer’s life and in a church. These actions make you miserable and they make everyone around you miserable. The problem is these are hard habits to break. We are negative by nature and by nurture. We tend to naturally focus on the bad things of life. We are also conditioned by society to be negative. Bad news sells newspapers.

“Murmurings” have been defined as the undertones of dissatisfaction; “disputings” are the overtones of dissension. Murmuring is what you do in private, while disputing is what happens when you take your complaints public with the wrong attitude.

Has a negative attitude built a stronghold in your life?
Are you defensive?
Do you complain more than you praise?
Are you easily angered?
Are you critical of others?

Murmuring and disputing can destroy your peace. These attitudes can destroy a marriage, a relationship with your children, and friendships. Murmuring and disputing can certainly destroy the fellowship and effectiveness of a church. It is sad when a church is harmed by the negative attitude of members. Some members expend more energy complaining and criticizing trivial things in the church than they ever do in trying to reach a lost soul for Christ. Their attitude is destroying their witness in the world. People will not believe the authenticity of our Gospel message until they see the reality of our love for one another. That is why Paul wrote, “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…” (Philippians 2:14-15).

Here is a challenge for all of us:

Ask the Lord to fill you with His Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).
Measure your love by how you treat others. Don’t just say you love someone; show it by how you treat them. Anyone can declare their love with words. Christians are to demonstrate love by their deeds. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 [English Standard Version]).
Ask the Lord to tame your tongue. “And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring” (James 3:6-12 [New Living Translation, Second Edition]).
Repent when you find yourself being negative and work to maintain unity. “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3 [English Standard Version]).
Commit to coming to church this week and leaving your criticisms at the door. “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another” (Galatians 5:13-15 [New Living Translation, Second Edition]).
Try to make your pastor’s job easier by exhibiting a positive attitude. Don’t grab him on Sunday to unload your latest complaint. You certainly should not jump him just before the service before he has to preach. Most pastors would appreciate you scheduling an appointment during office hours if you need to discuss a matter. To corner a pastor before the service is saying that your complaint is more important than what will happen in the service that day and that his attention should be on you instead of getting ready to lead in worship. “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:17 [New King James Version]).
Forgive. Most of our criticisms are over personal preferences not precepts of God’s Word. In that case, we need to build a bridge and get over it. Life won’t always be to my liking. However, if a person has sinned against you then you should seek to restore the relationship. Jesus gives clear instructions in Matthew 18:15-20 on how to lovingly confront a person who has sinned against you. In Colossians 3 we are commanded to forgive one another just as Christ has forgiven us. “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:12-13 [English Standard Version]).