I have been thinking lately about the things people say when someone has died. We have such a desire to be helpful and comforting to people in their time of grief. However, some of the things we say are not helpful. When I return from Haiti I am going to develop this idea into a full post. For now I would like your help in formulating a list of things not to say when someone dies. What are these and why are they inappropriate. I will give my preliminary list below. Please use the comments section of my blog to respond with your thoughts or add to my list.
This is a serious list, not one of funny things people say. My goal is to equip you with ways to be helpful and comforting when a family member or friend is dealing with a loss. (I recently performed a funeral for a good man and dear church member. Thankfully, I did not hear any of these spoken by well-intentioned church members. So I am not writing to correct someone.)
Here is my list:
- I know how you feel.
- Don't cry.
- God needed another angel in Heaven.
- God needed your loved one in Heaven more than you needed him.
- You have to move on with your life.
- You wouldn't want to be selfish by keeping them here would you?
Why are these statements wrong or not helpful? What would you add to the list and why? Leave your comments below. Thank you for helping me in this way.
