No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need, in order to give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29 (HCSB)
Conflict is an inevitable component of any relationship, even the marriage relationship. You cannot put two people, from different families, with different personalities, different experiences, and different perspectives and opinions under the same roof and not expect them to have times of disagreement. In fact, we should love each other enough that we can share how we feel about issues that we face, even if we disagree. However, some couples need to learn that some types of speech are out of bounds for a Christian. They use hurtful words as weapons against one another. It is a lie to say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Words do wound and leave lasting scars. That is why the Apostle Paul says that no corrupt, unhealthy, or rotten talk should come out of our mouths. The only words that should pass our lips are words that will actually help the other person and build them up.
Shannon Ethridge gives some helpful advice in her article on “Verbal Poison.” Here are some indicators she gives to help you judge if your verbal disagreements have crossed the line:
- Screaming, cursing, or name-calling
- Constant criticism or frequent humiliation
- Acting jealous or possessive to block healthy relationships with others
- Incessant calling during work hours just to argue
- Threatening to harm your spouse, his or her loved ones, pets, or belongings
- Verbally throwing your spouse's past in his or her face even though forgiveness was previously extended
- Belittling or minimizing your partner's concerns about the relationship, or blaming the other person entirely
You cannot control how your spouse speaks to you, but you can control how you respond. Ask the Holy Spirit of God to help you watch your mouth.
