We have seen in previous posts that a God-blessed marriage is based on commitment.
- Commitment #1: Receiving your mate as a gift from God.
- Commitment #2: Leaving your family as your primary allegiance.
- Commitment #3: Cleaving to your mate in a lifelong commitment.
Today we will discuss the final commitment.
Commitment #4: Becoming one flesh.
Perhaps you are thinking, "Now we get to the good stuff!" Well, you are right. Sexual intimacy is the good stuff when it is understood as God intended.
Some people get embarrassed when the subject of sex comes up. And that is not such a bad thing. Society has gotten too comfortable discussing such intimate matters. We have lost our ability to blush.
However, it is appropriate in this sex-saturated society to proclaim God’s will for this aspect of married life. God is the one who invented sex in the first place! What are the reasons God gave married couples the gift of sex?
Celebration
The phrase “one flesh” means “oneness.” One of the reasons God gave married couples the gift of sex is to celebrate the oneness that marriage makes possible. Unmarried people may have sex but they cannot celebrate oneness. Oneness is more than the uniting of two bodies. It is the uniting of two hearts and souls and minds in commitment to God and to each other. Sex outside of marriage is just Satan’s cheap counterfeit.
Did you know that math is different in marriage than it is in school?
In school, 1+1=2.
But in marriage 1+1=1.
Sexual intercourse was God’s idea! It is to be the culminating commitment between two people who have been drawn together by God. Two become one. Sexuality is a beautiful thing when it is the expression of emotional and spiritual intimacy between a husband and wife who are committed to one another for life. Sex is a celebration between a loving husband and wife.
Dr. Louis H. Evans, Jr. writes, “The one flesh in marriage is not just a physical phenomenon, but a uniting of the totality of two personalities. In marriage, we are one flesh spiritually by vow, economically by sharing, logistically by adjusting time and agreeing on the disbursement of all life’s resources, experientially by trudging through the dark valleys and standing victoriously on the peaks of success, and sexually by the bonding of our bodies.”
When you realize what becoming one flesh really means you understand that it should FOLLOW the other three commitments and FOLLOW the marriage ceremony. You RECEIVE, LEAVE, CLEAVE, then you BECOME one flesh as the culmination of the other three commitments.
As usual, society has it all backwards. Society says that you should get to know someone first in a sexual way. Then you can get to know the other person intellectually if the sex leads the relationship anywhere. After this you can get to know someone emotionally. Last of all you can get to know the other person spiritually if it’s not too controversial or politically incorrect or if it’s even important.
God’s design is for your good and for His glory. God says that you are to get to know the other person spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and then, after marriage, sexually.
Procreation
Another reason for sex is obvious. God intended for Adam and Eve to populate the world with godly offspring. God told them to be fruitful and multiply. What a command! Adam probably said to Eve, “Well, you heard what He said. This is big place so we better get to work!”
God’s design for marriage is to provide a loving, stable, and godly place where children can be brought into the world by a mother and father committed to the Lord Jesus Christ. The family unit is the basic building block of society. This does not mean that God cannot empower single adults to fulfill their responsibilities in raising godly, well adjusted children. But we must never lose sight of, nor devalue God’s original design. God knows that having a stable relationship between a husband and wife is the best environment for children.
Protection
There are several benefits and blessings for the couple who follow God’s design for marriage. Protection from harm is one of them. When God says, “Thou shalt not,” He is really saying, “Don’t hurt yourself.”
A teen aged boy once asked his grandfather what people used for safe sex when he was young. The grandfather, without looking up from his morning paper replied, “A wedding ring!”
Let me tell you young people, you don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases when you wait till marriage before having sex. You don’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancies when you wait till marriage before having sex. You don’t have to worry about the guilt and shame that comes with premarital sex if you follow God’s design. You don’t have to sneak around living in fear of getting caught if you wait till you are married before having sex.
“Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14).
Marriage is for our good and for God's glory when we follow His design!
