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Here is the video of last Sunday's renewal of vows ceremony and message. We are indebted to The Church on the Move for the skit idea and video, and to LifeChurch for the series idea and resources.
This is the second message in the series, "The Vow". Last week we discussed the vow of priority. God must be my first priority; my spouse must be my second priority. This message is about the need to continually pursue a closer relationship with your spouse. What are some ways you and your spouse try to keep "the honey in the honeymoon"?
We began our marriage series, "The Vow," today in both services and in many of our Life Groups. I heard from several who were present that this series is exactly what they need. In fact, it is what we all need, me included. We are looking at four relational vows that will strengthen our marriages. Today we discussed, "The Vow of Priority." God is the ONE. My spouse is the TWO. If you missed today's message you can see it below. I also hope you will join me next week as we continue. Let me also encourage you to invite someone to join you. We all know family and friends who will benefit from these truths. God bless, and I love you.
Please join us tomorrow, January 22 for the beginning of our new message and LifeGroup series, "The Vow". We will learn how to build strong, healthy, and growing marriages. It is going to be a life-changing series! Invite someone to join you in small-group and worship!
I want to invite you to join me on Wednesday nights beginning this week as I lead a study of God's Word on the topic of marriage. We will use the book, "Building A Marriage That Really Works," by Kay Arthur and David & B.J. Lawson. We will discover God's plan for marriage. We will examine biblical wisdom for pursuing harmony, building communication skills, and fulfilling our roles in marriage. The book costs $8, but don't let that keep you away if you cannot afford it. Call the church office at 642-2288 and let me know that you will attend. This will help me plan for the first night. We will meet from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. in room B-113 behind the worship center. I look forward to seeing you there!
One of the sappiest love songs Elvis ever sang was called, “You Were Always On My Mind.” (See video below) Don't get me wrong, I love the song. But have you ever considered how silly the premise is? The lyrics are:
Maybe I didn't treat you Quite as good as I should have Maybe I didn't love you Quite as often as I could have Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time You were always on my mind You were always on my mind
I am sure if I treated my wife poorly for years and years that I could make it alright between us if I just sang this song. “But honey, you were always on my mind!” I am sure she would reply, “Oh, why didn’t you just say so years ago? That makes everything alright.”
Some people assume that if they just have good thoughts about their spouse then they are doing all that is needed. They rarely tell the other person how much they love them, they rarely pay the other person compliments, they rarely communicate, and they rarely send them flowers or gifts. We must be more intentional in building our relationship than this. There is no substitute for expressing your love in tangible ways. And good thoughts do not automatically make up for poor behavior.
What have you done lately to show your spouse that you truly love them? Perhaps it is time to do the little things that go a long way. Guys, here are a few ideas for you.
Leave a love note on her pillow before you leave for work.
Send her flowers for no reason other than to say, "I love you."
Clean the dishes while she is away.
Hold her hand while you walk.
Pull out the chair for her at the restaurant.
Compliment her to your friends in her presence.
Help the kids with their homework without her asking.
Take care of those "honey-do's" around the house you've been putting off.
Rent a "chick-flick" instead of "Rambo VIII."
Be polite to her at all times.
Rub her back without expecting "anything" in return. Guys, you know what I mean!
Be sincere in all the above.
Do you have any other suggestions? Ladies, what can you do for your man to show him you love him?
Here are a few keys for good communication in marriage that I gleaned from the book, "The Total Man," by Dan Benson. I don't know if the book is still being printed, but you can pick up a used copy from Amazon.com.
One male, one female From totally different homes With different upbringings and experiences Each with emotional uniqueness With different likes and dislikes Each with some degree of independence And with some self-centeredness Living in the same house With different tasks and responsibilities Working from the same budget Trying to meet the same goals. Will They Agree On Everything? No way.
The Barrenness of Busyness. We over-commit ourselves to our careers and hobbies, all the while neglecting the most important human relationship we have. Even parenting can consume a couple’s energy so they don’t spend time together as husband and wife. When we do make time to be together as a couple we are exhausted and stressed. The barrenness of busyness sets in and our marriage loses vigor and vitality. Couples must learn to protect time for one another. We must say, “no” to some commitments so we can say, “yes” to our spouse. It is the only way to keep our love strong.
The sin of selfishness. Too many husbands and wives live like they are still single and that everyone else is put on planet earth to cater to their wants and wishes. Selfishness will kill a marriage. You have to choose; either be a giver or a taker. Strong marriages are forged by two givers.
The Poison of Pornography. Pornography is dangerously addictive. I cannot tell you how many men I have counseled who have been hurt by this mental poison. It debases and objectifies women; it destroys trust between a husband and a wife; and it invariably leads to lust. Jesus said, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:27-28 (KJV)
The Abuse of Alcohol (and other drugs). I have never met a person who said, “I am sorry I never started drinking.” But I have met many who said they were sorry they ever took that first drink. Alcohol kills people and marriages. It leads to fights, addictions, broken homes, and a host of other ills. My wife and I have chosen to totally abstain. We have not missed out on any of the good things of life. "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise." Proverbs 20:1 (KJV)
The Fatality of Flattery."For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil." (Proverbs 5:3) Flattery is a trap! A little flattery has made big fools out of a lot of men and women! We must stay out of situations where we can be susceptible to this type of trap. There is no good reason for you to discuss your marriage problems or your sex life with a person of the opposite sex. There is no good reason to be alone at a person’s home who is of the opposite sex. We are to flee all appearances of evil. Don’t put yourself in a position where you can listen to flattery and sexual come-ons. Don’t listen to flirtatious people. Don’t listen to or participate in playful banter that is of a flirtatious manner.
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